Saturday, April 16, 2011

Douchbag dogs and vengance

Alright so I wake up one morning to find a black puppy in my garage. I don't know how he got there and I didn't ask. Me being a dog person, (fuck cats) I gave it some food and decided screw it, I guess I'll keep it. Fast forward 3 hours and my two little sisters are screaming with excitement how there's a bunch of puppies in the backyard, and sure enough there's like 12 puppies all over the place. Now 1 puppy was a coincidence, 12 was just retarded. I encyclopedia brown'ed that bitch of a situation to discover that the next door neighbor's had a dog that had puppies and the little tards explored their enclosed fence well enough to find a hole big enough to fit through so they came into my backyard. So being the good guy that I was, I went next door to return them. Neighbor's said sorry, I said no problem, they came over and took them back. Because I had been admiring the that one puppy that I wanted I innocently asked
"Hey you guys giving any one of these pup's away?"
Little girl: "No but we're selling them"
Me:"Oh really? How much? (thinking 20$ or 30$)"
LG:"Oh my dad is selling them for 100$ each."
Me:"Never mind"
You would think end of story right?
No more that 30 min had passed when I heard yipping in the back again and found that they had ALL come back. I went next door to return them again but when I got there the owners had took off somewhere. So I was left with 12 super excited puppies and no where to put them so my little sisters put them in their room. LONG STORY SHORT neighbors got home and I returned them. I found out a little bit later 2 of them crapped on the floor and one of them threw up.
THE NEXT DAY IT HAPPENED AGAIN. You would think that people would take better care of their 100$ puppies but whatever. This time I had to go to work and the owners were long gone to their work, so in a moment of desperation/retardation I put the puppies inside and decided I would take care of it when I got back and left...
I know dumb Idea.
When I got back I found that one of those little punks had chewed up my xbox live headset and furthermore had completely chewed through my ORIGINAL xbox controller cable(they don't make those anymore). AND the ripped up 2 trash cans worth of paper and threw it all over the backyard.(two were still outside). I saw the douchbag dogs and looked at them with my mouth open for an explanation and they just stared at me with those shit-eating grins as if happy with themselves
"Fuck yo couch nigga"

Now rather than blame the dogs, I blamed the shitty owners who let them escape 3 times in a row. Also they looked malnourished, and i could see the ribs of some SO I calmly picked up the phone and did what any other self respecting, pushed to the edge guy would have done.

I called all my friends and asked "Hey anyone want a free dog?!"

 In less than 20 min one of my friends was over and picked one up. When the owners came home, I returned the hell spawns and when the owner noticed that one of them was missing and asked about it I was all like "Well they must have gotten out of my backyard and into the street and must be out there somewhere" so needless to say a little while later I heard the banging of  hammer and nails of a neighbor who finally gave a damn about keeping those little assholes contained in their yard fence. Lessoned learned for them I'd say


  1. Bahahaha, way to go. I think you handled that pretty well, honestly.

  2. Hehe, shit happens mate, and when it happens, you gotta know what to do ^^ Well done

  3. Awesome. I love how you managed to give one to a friend. Maybe there's still time to get one yourself? ;d

  4. It'd be too hard to try to raise a dog with out the next door neighbor seeing and recognizing it

  5. Good post and you sure managed the situation well.

  6. yeah, when something happens to them, then they react

  7. Good idea tbh.
    My dog cost me £1400 but then there are only 80 of them in the UK.
    Tis a Boerboel.

    Following :)