ESCALATION OUT TODAY

This is just a short post today because of the new DLC from Call of Duty Black Ops just came out today. It's downloading now as we speak and I know it's going to be everything I hoped it's going to be. And more probably!

This week in trailer's part 2

1.  30 MINUTES OR LESS

While this movie does look indeed quite the hilarious it sounds a bit too reminiscent of the actual true story of  Brian Wells, the Pizza delivery man who in 2003 was kidnapped and forced to rob a Wackovia bank in Florida. Unfortunately for Brian hilarity didn't ensue. (He was stopped by SWAT and the bomb on his neck exploded killing him) 

Not pictured: Quirky Hijinks

(It should be noted that this similar situation happened again in 2007 only with a happy ending for the victim but the criminals in question this time got their money and escaped scott free)

http://articles.cnn.com/2007-09-25/us/florida.robbery_1_robbery-plot-bank-robbery-device?_s=PM:US

 So I guess sometimes you gotta laugh to keep from crying. I'll probably see this movie anyways so screw it.

2. XMEN FIRST CLASS

At first I thought this movie was going to be ok with the first trailer but now it just jumped up a couple notches on my priority list of movies to look out for. I think the only little nit pick I say that Find wrong with this movie is the girl they chose to play young Mystique, she looks a little too chubby to be her and don't get me wrong I'm not meaning to be shallow or anything but it's just that grown up Mystique in the other X MEN movies was this crazy sexy, slender fighting shape shifter vixen who created many a awkward situation when watching her on screen with a relative in the room. 

Aw yeah

Yessssss....

Nooooooo.....just no

This week in Trailer's

Possible the one I'm most excited about it the new DLC pack for Call of Duty Black Ops, more specifically the New Zombie map pack the "Call of The Dead" which has the powerhouse of celebrities playing for the most part their cinema dopplegangers.

 Danny Trejo is clearly dressed as his most recent ass kicking character MACHETE, He even says his tagline "YOU F*!@ED WITH THE WRONG MEXICAN!"

 Sarah Mitchell Gellar is wearing red hot pants with a black tank top which was the main staple of her character in Buffy the vampire slayer.

Her other staples are bad puns

Robert Englund's doppleganger (for those of you who don't already know) was the original Freddy Kreuger in Nightmare on Elm Street. He's wearing his signature fedora and while not brandishing his spikey glove, does wield a 5 fingered pitch fork (He even says "This must be a Nightmare *wink *wink)

Not pictured: Subtlety

Michael Rooker is from the INSANELY AWESOME hit TV show "The Walking Dead" (If you watched the show you know which character I'm talking about) And says his catchphrase "Don't with me Boi")

And including an insane special guest that's been a long time coming.

Anyways that's what really got me excited about coming soon stuff this week catch you guys later.

Fire is bad

Alright so as I was cleaning my backyard concrete patio the other day and I swept a bunch of trash and other miscellaneous items into a pile to throw away. I happened to have a box of matches in my pocket so the little devil on my right shoulder thought I thought why not just burn it into non-existence instead of throwing it away?

So I lit a match and bing bang boom it was gone in a puff of flames that I put out with my foot and then water.   About 20 min later I see my little brother in the back putting out a slightly larger fire than the one I had just set.    (this is the part where things aren't my fault) Apparently my little brother though it to be a good Idea to follow my example and burn his trash too only his fire got set a little too close to the grass and set some leaves on fire accidentally. So he got the fire hose and put that out and completely doused it in water. We both leave and go inside, he goes to his room and I take a nap, about 40 min passes and my mom comes home telling me to get up and deal with the smoke in the backyard. I go check and nearly shit a brick when I see that half of my backyard is on fire. 

Oops

Thankfully my brother got the hose and avoided what could have been very bad...but then again it was his fault. 

Till more adventures catch you later

5 THINGS THAT MAKES ME RAGE 1ST EDITION

1. When a relative disappears for months or years at a time, then super randomly they want to visit/stay with you suddenly because they "want to spend time" with you and say shit like "family is important I'll always have you guys". Then they wait exactly 1 week to ask for what they really came for, money. (Or in my case they come back fucking pregnant and want you to take care of them because they have no fucking brains in their head to know how to use birth control or put on a condom)

2. When you try to ask someone a genuine inquiry (ex. "Do you happen to know where ---- is?" or "Is that place open do you know?") and they just so HAPPEN to be somewhat attractive and female and when you talk to them they're so self important they think that you must be hitting on them so they either blow you off or give a "uh, blah blah whatever go away now" GRARGH GET OVER YOURSELF YOU-

"Excuse me do you have the tim"-"Fuck off I'm better than you"

3. Getting woken up at 8:00 on a SATURDAY by Jehovah witnesses. Enough said.

4. People who have a bullshit desk job and get drunk on the small bit of power they have. (E.x. a librarian, a computer lab guy who just has to watch the lab and do nothing all day but will randomly give you shit for no reason, a worker at a job who used to be your friend until they got promoted to manager then they think they're above you and stop talking to you.)

5. ANYONE DRIVING A HUMMER STYLE VEHICLE

 What happens when their ego collides with reality:

And that's all for now. I'm sure more shit will come up later. See ya

Douchbag dogs and vengance

Alright so I wake up one morning to find a black puppy in my garage. I don't know how he got there and I didn't ask. Me being a dog person, (fuck cats) I gave it some food and decided screw it, I guess I'll keep it. Fast forward 3 hours and my two little sisters are screaming with excitement how there's a bunch of puppies in the backyard, and sure enough there's like 12 puppies all over the place. Now 1 puppy was a coincidence, 12 was just retarded. I encyclopedia brown'ed that bitch of a situation to discover that the next door neighbor's had a dog that had puppies and the little tards explored their enclosed fence well enough to find a hole big enough to fit through so they came into my backyard. So being the good guy that I was, I went next door to return them. Neighbor's said sorry, I said no problem, they came over and took them back. Because I had been admiring the that one puppy that I wanted I innocently asked
"Hey you guys giving any one of these pup's away?"
Little girl: "No but we're selling them"
Me:"Oh really? How much? (thinking 20$ or 30$)"
LG:"Oh my dad is selling them for 100$ each."
Me:"Never mind"
You would think end of story right?
Wrong.
No more that 30 min had passed when I heard yipping in the back again and found that they had ALL come back. I went next door to return them again but when I got there the owners had took off somewhere. So I was left with 12 super excited puppies and no where to put them so my little sisters put them in their room. LONG STORY SHORT neighbors got home and I returned them. I found out a little bit later 2 of them crapped on the floor and one of them threw up.
THE NEXT DAY IT HAPPENED AGAIN. You would think that people would take better care of their 100$ puppies but whatever. This time I had to go to work and the owners were long gone to their work, so in a moment of desperation/retardation I put the puppies inside and decided I would take care of it when I got back and left...
I know dumb Idea.
When I got back I found that one of those little punks had chewed up my xbox live headset and furthermore had completely chewed through my ORIGINAL xbox controller cable(they don't make those anymore). AND the ripped up 2 trash cans worth of paper and threw it all over the backyard.(two were still outside). I saw the douchbag dogs and looked at them with my mouth open for an explanation and they just stared at me with those shit-eating grins as if happy with themselves

"Fuck yo couch nigga"

Now rather than blame the dogs, I blamed the shitty owners who let them escape 3 times in a row. Also they looked malnourished, and i could see the ribs of some SO I calmly picked up the phone and did what any other self respecting, pushed to the edge guy would have done.

I called all my friends and asked "Hey anyone want a free dog?!"

 In less than 20 min one of my friends was over and picked one up. When the owners came home, I returned the hell spawns and when the owner noticed that one of them was missing and asked about it I was all like "Well they must have gotten out of my backyard and into the street and must be out there somewhere" so needless to say a little while later I heard the banging of  hammer and nails of a neighbor who finally gave a damn about keeping those little assholes contained in their yard fence. Lessoned learned for them I'd say

INSIDIOUS

Damn. Just damn. Talk about a movie out of nowhere. I was made aware of this movie called INSIDIOUS on the Saturday morning that it came out (thanks to a shotgun blast of ad's from youtube suddenly)and the following night I watched it with my friends, and I was blown away. I practically shouted during the opening credits when I discovered that the crazy looking movie I was about to watch was directed, produced and even acted quite a bit by my two favorite underdog directors, James Wan and Leigh Whannell. I became instant fans of theirs when I was 13 and watched their 2003 movie SAW and ever since then have made it a point to watch everything of theirs. They continued with SAW 2 then they only produced the other SAW ones. I again heard almost no buzz or previews over their next movie Death Sentence which I absolutely loved, it was a great revenge flick. Then James Wan made a movie that involved his fascination with dolls in 2007's Dead Silence (Is it just me or am I sensing a theme here). Anyways as much as I liked them I thought I had heard the last of them considering that it was 2011 and that would make it about 4 years since they made a movie. Fast forward to the morning of April 1st and I saw this trailer that definitely woke me up that morning: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E1YbOMDI59k

Needless to say I immediately made plans that night to watch it with my friends and Ho-lee-shit was that movie everything I expected it to be, even better actually. The whole "Haunted house" horror movie has been done before, and done well (The Amityville horror, Rose Red, Poltergeist, House on Haunted hill,-shut up I was 11- Paranormal Activity) but I thought that the age of those kind of horror movie had come to an end with wannabe scary ones like The Haunting in Connecticut, Paranormal Entity and others that gladly used the haunted house hype and tried to cash in unsuccessfully. With that I thought that Haunted house/demon and ghost story movies were officially done, finished, and out the door with every possible creepy scenario played out, every jump accomplished and all bases covered. In fact the only movie I was looking forward to get me even remotely entertained/scared in my seat was "Paranormal Activity 3" coming this Halloween.

ANYWAYS. So yeah INSIDIOUS started off slow and almost made you think that the movie was going to be boring because for 15 min straight the movie sets the scene of the family dynamic and BAM! quicker than you can contract herpes from a five dollar hooker, INSIDIOUS has got your balls in a Chuck Norris grip and then leaves you to contemplate what you've just seen happen. The pacing was brilliant is what I'm trying to say. I felt like you were given enough time to feel for the mother, father and children without it getting boring and right when you feel like this is dragging out you get a huge WHEN YOU SEE IT YOU'LL SHIT BRICKS  moment that sets the mood for the rest of the movie. Nothing is sacred, INSIDIOUS has no safety zones of "oh it's ok, the character is safe now he's in the room wher-BAM! HOLY PISS!" I can honestly say that it's been a long time since I've watched a horror movie that wasn't when I was 10 and scared me but INSIDIOUS damn near made me almost want to cover my eyes. Also the man with the Red face was really freaking cool. Alright you get the picture, I loved the movie and Highly recommend you see it if you haven't already, and If you have seen it and say you didn't like it you're dead to me.
Peace-